There is only one happiness in life,
to love and be loved.

- George Sand -

Happy Valentines Day

I don´t need Valentines Day to know that I love you bby...it´s just a nice occasion to use alot of red and hearts andsoon... I miss you

9:38pm I´m watching TV...Indiana Jones...funny film...I like it

I´m bored and I don´t know if I´m hungry or not.

9:44pm I´m waiting...oh..TV commercials...I don´t like TV commercials...

9:49pm Commercials over...I´m still waiting...and eating buiscuits...yummy McVitie´s...hmmmm...

10:00pm Still bored...still waiting...still watching TV...we´ve done some FlashMob on atease and Dave got banned by Pins.. *angry* No fair!

10:03pm Waiting´s over...well at least he´s online...we´ll see what happenes...

10:22pm ARGH!!!!!! I´m sooo annoyed now with atease...*grrrrr*

10:25pm Silence...great...*sighs*

10:30pm I was told I´m cool...*blushes* woah....I´m not btw.

10:40pm He just told me he´s watching a film...so more silence today..wow...I could go to bed..it wouldn´t make any difference.

10:55pm *yawn* I´m so bored...I´m watching “Autopsy” now...Love that...still nothing from him..I dunno what to do...He´s not talking to me...*cry*

11:09pm I give up...I can´t stand this silence...why is he here at all??

11:12pm A reaction to >>I dyed my hair pink<<...but that´s it...

11:15pm Bby I´m sry...but what the hell is going on? *cry*

11:20pm Ok enough of this. Nite.

We were talking - about the space between us all
And the people - who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion
Never glimpse the truth - then it's far too late when they pass away

We were talking - about the love we all could share
When we find it - to try our best to hold it there - with our love
With our love we could save the world - if they only knew

Try to realise it's all within yourself - no-one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small
And life flows on within you and without you.

We were talking - about the love that's gone so cold
And the people who gain the world and lose their soul
They don't know, they can't see - are you one of them ?

When you've seen beyond yourself
then you may find peace of mind is waiting there
And the time will come when you see we're all one
And life flows on within you and without you.

What am I?Complicated.
Who am I? Someone with a problem I suppose.

When I feel hurt or disappointed...my natural reaction is: saying things that might hurt the other person,  make this person feel bad. I don´t want that to happen...this feeling just takes over. I hate myself for it...

“It´s gonna take an airplane to get me off the ground and I don´t blame anyone for not sticking around...”
(Destroyer – It´s gonna take an airplane)

Hm.

I dunno what to write. It´s now three days that I´m back in Berlin. I feel kinda okay-ish but it´s slooooowly getting down...

The last week was just great. All the perfect things like sunshine, an amazing B&B, hills and mountains and being together...even all the imperfect things like boring waiting, horrible accomodations or cold wind.
 
Falling asleep and waking up in the arms of the most amazing and wonderful person is something that I never want to miss again...ever.

Thanx so much...

...honey. *giggles*

 School is so boring...*sigh*

and it´s raining...

and I´m tired...

and my stomach is meeh..

buuuuut: only about 12 hours left.

happy

So. I´m back. Sadly as it is. That week was wonderful. I totally forgot about having to go back. *sighs*

Well, 13 days left. Then I´ll be back on the “island”. Hehe.

Thank you bby for an amazing week...

Argh...I hate being in the mood I am. This mix of being annoyed and sad. *sighs*.

And all because I don´t like reading about other peoples´ presents and gifts. I´m not saying I want gifts!!! I just don´t want to read about how lovely this is, and how sweet and “I love you so much” blaaaa.. I´m an arsehole I know that much but I hate feeling left out!!!!!

Second: I knew what would happen in that last week. No fair.

Problem with this mood is: I tend to act really mean. I don´t want to. It just happenes. I feel like shutting all msn windows down and go offline. Without saying bye of course.

Why am I like that? Why do I make people pay for my problems and pain?

 
So...uhm...whatever.

Ok...I´m sick of everything at the moment. School, my life´s situation, what my mum thinks of me (or what NOT) andsoon.

The one thing I found...that could have made at least ALL 3 OF THESE PROBLEMS go away...will not happen. Because I don´t have rich parents and I don´t have a (good-enough) job. Wohoo.
 

Could I please just do what I´d like to do? Why´s it not possible to learn what you really want to learn.

 
Don´t give me the speeches about me having a “nice opportunity etc” and “it was my choice...etc” or “other kids don´t have anything”...I know all that. Yes I´m thankful...bla.

But I´m not happy.

I like being here but I´d love to be somewhere else. Doing something else.

Yes...I want to complain just NOW. I don´t care if you think I´m exaggerating things. I know what I feel.

Gaaah!